Monday, March 31, 2008

Ching Ming Jie

This past weekend, I went down to LA to visit my parents and it happened to be the weekend before Ching Ming Jie, "Mourning Day" or "Tomb Sweeping Day" in Chinese tradition. On this day (this coming Friday officially), families go to the tombs of their ancestors, clean it, bring food for them and pay their respects.

My grandparents (Mom's side) are buried at Rose Hills, what is know today to be the largest cemetery in the world (with 1400 acres). Even at 10 a.m. on Sunday, there were lines and lines of cars there - afterall, there are a lot of Chinese in SoCal and this is the world's largest cemetery.

We brought a roasted chicken, some cha shui, fruit, chopsticks and plates, wine and even 7-Up for my grandparents to consume in the afterlife. We also brought a large tin to burn the fake paper money and paper clothes, shoes, etc. that my grandparents could use in the afterlife. I respect the Chinese tradition in this - I even enjoy it, but I wonder how much of this will carry on when I have a family.

This was one of the few times I had come with my family back to the cemetery, one of the first few times since the funerals in fact. And when I say my family, I mean my aunts, uncles and cousins too - it's always a big family affair.

It made me realize how much I miss my grandparents since they've passed away (on both sides of the family). They were such a big part of my life growing up, complex in our relationship, but simple and true in their affection for their kids and grandkids. It started to hit me - all the memories and love they offered and I started to tear up at the cemetery. I talked to both my grandma and grandpa, telling them about how I'm getting married this year, how I missed them and think about them often. And I realized that I didn't even remember the date they passed away. Something I feel like I should know.

So I wrote it down. I know they are with me still. Rest in Peace Poi Poi and Gong Gong. I love you and miss you.

Teoh San Wu
Sept. 9, 1922 - Nov. 29, 2001

Shein Kwee Lee Wu
March 11, 1922 - June 12, 2000

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