Motherly

I asked my boyfriend a few years ago, when we first started dating, for one word he’d use to describe me. He said “Motherly.” I nearly flipped out at the time, because, of all the words I wanted my significant other, my lover, my best friend to think of me as when I was 25, one of the last was Motherly. How about hot, smart, beautiful, sparkling, fun, lovable? Ready to devour. To jump the bones of. Okay, these aren’t one word responses and I get carried away, but you get my drift. Come on boyfriend, indulge me a little, you know? But no, he chose Motherly.

But looking back at our last few years together, learning and growing and getting to know each other like second skins in a way that is rare between two people, I have come to the realization that he knew me better than I knew myself. He knew who I was and who I was continuing to become, for the better, before I could even figure it out for myself. Even now, I look at the guy sitting next to me on the plane, an adult in his twenties, doing his sudoku puzzles in the dark, and all I want to do is turn on his seat light for him. Or at least tell him he can turn on the light. It’s right there! See it? Look up! For god’s sake, his vision is going to get shot to hell. With genetics already working against him as an Asian dude wearing glasses, get with it, man (playing warcraft on his lap top an hour ago by the way, but don’t want to perpetuate any stereotypes).

What I’ve learned about what my boyfriend said, what he was trying to say, is that he sees me as someone loving, who inherently and naturally is inclined to just take care of people, want to be there for them, build relationship, camaraderie and love between us and between others. And now, as I near 30, I think that ain’t half bad, coming from someone who loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t want to be devoured. ;)