How to tell if you are american

it's funny to watch my dad's evolution of using this new thing called the Internet. my dad started off using the web to check his stocks, knowing his one bookmark, barely understanding the concept of a browser. then he moved onto canceling his newspaper subscription, "Why should I pay for the paper when I can get the news for free everyday online?!" Can you imagine him saying it in that oh-so-Chinese way? I love it.

Then, he started using email. But only for the other 3 people he knew that sent him emails plus his updates from Charles Schwab and CNN. So, I thought I'd add to his list too. I started sending him my flight confirmations, e-greeting cards, articles I thought he'd be interested in. He would always faithfully reply with something along the lines of, "I just wanted to let you know I got your email. Loves, dad." as though there was always this uncertainty of the circuitry behind email technology and that he was never sure what i sent him went through. (now also imagine vice versa - "Hey, did you get my email?" "And how bout this next time, did you get my email?"

Recently, he retired, so his world of the Internet has expanded as has his email usage. He's connected with his old college friends, even high school friends from Burma from decades ago for the first time. Of course, as a result, I hear more from him. Which I actually don't mind. In fact, I really like it. It's almost as though I can communicate with him in the way I do my friends and colleagues now. So when I got this forward called, "84 ways you can tell you are chinese" I thought of him since there were so many things he could relate to (stove grills covered with foil, anyone?) and forwarded it on, which I never would have done before.

That same day, he forwarded me an email called "Who is American?" - probably because he thought there were some things I could relate to. I thought this was just a funny exchange of generations and cultures within our relationship, even as a family, since there is this acceptance between us that he will always be almost "too" chinese and i will always be "too" american - like my amusement with his foil-covered stove and his amusement with my sister's and my "fast-talking english" with terms like "nerd" or "funky" that he still grasps to understand.

there's also this sense of a gap that i don't think either of us can explain. that he has lost his kids to this foreign, american culture in a lot of ways because there are just certain things we don't understand or appreciate the way he does. that i lost a part of me that i remember because some of the values instilled in me as a child have been replaced with more long-standing american values that have become a part of me because of my friends, my job and my everyday life without my parents. i also miss out, in some ways, on the kind of relationship i could have had with my parents (talking about boys, dating, pop culture), but never could because these were just unchartered territories.

of course there are a lot of wonderful things about being a part of two cultures too. i wouldn't trade our existing relationship for the world. for some reason though, i associate my dad's growing internet sophistication with being american. i know that's not exactly accurate, because there are plenty of asian people who use technology who are not from the states, but somehow, it allows him and i to suddenly connect on a level that we never used to talk about before. technology, articles, new browser interfaces, and maybe, one day, even blogging...