I made it through Satan's Cesspool

just got back tonight from my first whitewater rafting trip ever. now for most, this might not seem like a big deal. but for me, as someone who does not know how to swim and is slightly afraid of water, i'd call it a win for the day.

the weekend of camping and rafting was awesome. it was an eclectic mix of 15 pretty different people who were friends of different friends, so most of us did not know each other well or at all. there were a couple of musicians and nonprofit folks, a carpenter/stone mason, a consultant, two students, a couple of internet guys and a guy who used to do window dressings for Tiffany's and now works for the SF Opera to give you a flavor. Turns out the stars aligned and gave us a great group of people so there was much fun, adventure and sharing to be had.

we had two days of rafting - the first day was part orientation to rafting (learning how to maneuver and row in calm waters - at least half of us were newbies) and half rapids, which was the best part. of course, i was somewhat nervous since i was the only one who couldn't swim. i had told my parents that i went camping - not rafting - since i figured they would freak out knowing i couldn't swim. i kept thinking, "how are they going to explain to my mom that i ended up missing, last seen floating down the American River?"

In the end, it was so much fun, it pushed the limits of how much i would have done myself, totally makes me want to go again and made me think about how adventurous a person i really am? before this, i used to think i was fairly adventurous - i've gone skydiving, ziplining through rainforests, caving, got a tattoo, etc. i love trying new things and there's something to be said about pushing your comfort zone a little bit to learn more about yourself and the world around you.

but this trip - i was at one point, truly afraid for my life. i don't know if it's just me getting older, or watching my friend Plutonium fall into fairly active rapids the first day or what (though she was as calm and graceful about it as audrey hepburn post training in My Fair Lady). but i feel like i should have been more adventurous - been okay with jumping in the river with my life jacket on, doing wheelies with the raft (which we ended up doing anyway and was lots of fun!), etc. so it got me thinking - am i really adventurous or just willing to extend out only to the ends of my safest points? and if the latter is true, what does that really mean anyway? that i'm a poser when it comes to trying new things?

of course that's probably not entirely the case, but i do think i could work on being more adventurous. i'd like to extend beyond my inner safety limits. life is too short and there are too many things out there to try and experience without fear getting in the way.

anyway, the rest of the weekend was great - the group brought lunch fixings complete with guacamole and salt and vinegar chips. yum. at the end of rafting today (we conquered these tougher rapids called TroubleMaker and Satan's Cesspool), we ended up at this beach/grassy hill area and just laid out in the sun, listened to some guy strumming his guitar, played with neighbors' dogs and drank beer and ate cherries. life was good.

this was one of those great weekend trips - i was apprehensive at first about how fun it would be, mixed with the excitement of the unknown since i didn't know too many of the people. by the end, the departure was bittersweet with all of us going back to our normal lives and jobs again with the uncertainty as to whether we will ever see each other again. but it was also pretty cool because we shared this one great saturated moment together, with this particular dynamic of people and outcome that can't be replicated again. and that i think, we will all appreciate for a long time to come, with conversations that start with, "remember that time when we..."

anyway, glad i did it - hitting the sack now - we'll see what parts of my body will be sore tomorrow...