Monday, July 30, 2007

hotness is always the tiebreaker

are you a designerslashmodel?

http://designerslashmodel.com/

tomorrow!

it's coming! after three years of transition, international travel and long distance, my boyfriend is finally moving back to town tomorrow. same time zone. shabu. yay. welcome back to sf, dodger!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

ready?

let's jump.

Monday, July 23, 2007

In the middle

My Midwest experience prior to this weekend had consisted of living in Chicago for a couple of years. And even then, this really meant Evanston, IL with a trip to Chicago once or twice a week. And it was really for business school – which is a microcosm of weirdness in and of itself.

So when I arrived in Cleveland for the first time this weekend for a wedding I was in, I didn’t really know what to expect. Sure, I’ve met tons of people from the Midwest and some of these folks are good friends, but they are usually of the variety that don’t want to go back, so they naturally represent a different sample of Midwestern natives.

A few highlights from the weekend that give you a taste of that area in the middle:

Service Guy Jim
About 25 minutes into being late/lost for a spa appointment with the bride, my girlfriend Cole and I decide to pull over and figure out where the hell we are. No phone numbers available (long story) and no maps (no excuse) and we weren’t sure if we were ever going to get there when Service Guy Jim pulls up behind us. He’s wearing a bright yellow t-shirt that says “Service Village” on it and is driving a big blue truck with a siren on it. He has a very grandpa-like beard. He asks if we are lost and tries to caravan us over to our destination a few miles away. Only to find that damn Google maps is completely wrong and we end up in a set of residential streets (though I’ll admit, my first thought was – we are going to a spa in someone’s house? Cleveland?). So SG Jim is stumped and decides to call the guy at the police department to help us find the real location. Yes, there seems to be “the guy at the police department” who you can call. We thank him for being so helpful and he says, “If it was my niece or wife in this situation, I’d want someone to help them like this.” True that, Cleveland. But they might be shit out of luck in a place like NY or SF. But we decided not to tell him that. He doesn’t get much help from his police friend and decides we should drive to his office. We meet Claire and Ben, his other staff members who are trying to look up our location online and we finally figure out that where we need to go was actually 7 minutes from our hotel. Jackpot! 45 minutes late and we finally make it. He caravans us over, waves goodbye and drives off into the sunset. And even though “service” in his job means checking streetlights and roads, I have a feeling it means something more in this town than other cities.

Marc’s
Cole and I make a necessary stop to Marc’s, the local equivalent to CVS or Rite Aid (but it’s cheaper and with a strange Walmart feel). The hotel we are staying at doesn’t have conditioner, lotion or toothpaste (or daily housekeeping). Yeah – don’t ask. We finally get to the check-out and it feels like not only is every line moving at a snail’s pace, so are the people waiting in line. I thought West Coasters are laid-back, but this was kind of silly. We finally get to the register when the slow register lady says, “Sorry, no Mastercard or Visa. Discover, cash or check only.”
Me: blinks like she just unexpectedly spoke Burmese. “Sorry?”
Slow lady: “No Mastercard. Only cash, check or Discover.”
Me: (where the hell are we????). “Oh, okay.”

The Boneyard
After the rehearsal dinner, a few of us decide to go to “the” bar nearby, the Boneyard. Oh, the Boneyard. To be fair, we are in Mayfield Heights, a smaller suburb 20 minutes from Cleveland proper, so for all those Cleveland-ites out there, this may not be a fair representation of your city. However, a fellow Ohio native I went with claims this place is, however, “very Ohio” in all its glory. It’s a big brick building that spans half the block and has one of those huge, dark parking lots where bar brawls happen in the movies. With signs like “Eat, Drink and Remarry,” a wide beer selection including MGD and Bud, a video arcade and a cover band playing Livin’ On A Prayer, I get the gist. And, no, we didn’t stick out like a sore thumb because I was one of two minorities there, we were all from out of town and we were all dressed in semi formal clothes amist the t-shirts and jeans. No, not at all. Nonetheless, it was lots of fun because of the company, if not the vibe.

Cornnuts
As background, virtually every response from friends when I eat Cornnuts is, “Who eats Cornnuts?!” Well, apparently, Midwesterners. The ultimate underrated snack food. If you don’t already, you should know that I love Cornnuts. The crunch. The flavors. Chile Lime. Ranch. Hold me back. I actually like to pour them all out of the bag, eat all the puffy ones first (the crunch!) and then eat the rest. I know. It’s a problem. I used to eat them virtually every day in high school and now, I seek them out on road trips and during visits to 711. This was not an exception in Cleveland. But, the fabulous thing here is that people don’t think it’s weird! My friend from Indiana said I had some Midwest in me afterall and the guy who works at 711 confirmed this. His exact response when I asked if this was true: “Oh yeah. Huge here. We love Cornnuts.”

Big Vehicles and Big Hearts
When my girlfriend was dating a boy from Ohio a while back, she told me that his mom drove a big Escalade and that she was thinking about getting fancy rims for them. I thought this was the weirdest thing since I’ve always associated rims and Escalades to the likes of Puff Daddy. Feel me? But now I finally understand. Everyone here, including the Midwestern moms who quilt, like driving big cars and big trucks. Service Guy Jim had one. As did several of the moms involved in the wedding. And I’m talking massive things that require a step ladder. It’s about the big vehicles, drinking beer and sports around here. Oh, and white people. Lots of them.

But one thing that I really appreciate about the visit, and of my friends from the Midwest is that no matter who you are, they welcome you with open arms into their stores, their homes and their families. People went above and beyond what they would have for both strangers and friends and were just nice for the sake of being nice. From Service Guy Jim to the ladies at the spa to the parents in the wedding to the nice, cute groomsmen who danced with the little kids and grandparents, opened doors and called us ladies.

In addition to my Cornnuts, can we bring some of that back to Cali?

Friday, July 20, 2007

i'm currently slightly obsessed with

  • Miranda July
  • Zooey Deschanel
  • That old timey boop-boop a-doop look
  • Tegan and Sara
  • Sleep (not!)
  • Nylon magazine (for the bands, not the writing)
  • Rufus Wainwright (for his hotness, and I guess his music is okay too. And yes, I know, he’s gay)
  • Short stories (any recommendations?)
  • Trying not to travel
  • Monster decals (check them out in our hallway)
  • Foods that are wrapped (dosas, burritos, etc)
  • Flight of the Conchords (you should be a part-time model)
  • Names that start with D or J
  • Ukeleles
  • Stripes
  • Cleveland, OH (not!)
  • Massages
  • Music that 16 year olds like
  • The Future

Thursday, July 05, 2007

sundays, bloody sundays

if only every wednesday could be like a sunday...