A Few Good Men

After my trip to Sin City this past weekend, i've been doing some thinking about the men in my life. Let's back up a second to a couple of stories from the weekend that are at the same time oh-so-good-it's Vegas, but also made me think about the men in the world.

Our good man Javier:
We are stranded at an off-the-strip Mexican restaurant 8 minutes before our long-awaited "O" show starts (it's a great restaurant, btw!) and the owner of the restaurant - a modest, unassuming man named Javier - kindly offers to drive us to the Bellagio. We wait for him to pull up in the parking lot and he comes out in - yes really - a Hummer! My first ride in one and it's through the Vegas strip no less! Anyway, the man doesn't even know how to get to Bellagio - his life is his family, his restaurant of 15 years and the friends he's made in his life. He tells us to bring our friends to his restaurant next time we're in town and ask for Javier so he can do some tequila shots with us. LOVE him! Btw, his restaurant is called Lindo Michoacan- I highly recommend it to everyone on their next visit, and it got a 9.7 on City Search!

Not so good man, Balding Backstreet Boy
Our friends get a private VIP room at Pure, the newest and hottest nightclub in Vegas during this split second. Two obnoxious guys take up the back of the room - wearing all white linen and trying to act way too young than they really are with 5 women hanging off of them. One grabs my friend NoBean and tries to get her to dance. After about a minute of being nice, she says, "okay - i'm going back to my friends." Obnoxious man's response? "No. Dance." She looks at him in that "what did you just say?" kind of way and starts to walk away. He says, "No. Dance." and then whips out a wad of cash and throws money at her. NoBean takes nothing from no one and walks away, PISSED. Adding insult to injury, this guy proceeds to take more money out and throw it at her as she walks away. As she's telling us what happens, we realize all the bills on the floor are $100 bills and NoBean, her usual self says, "And somebody better be picking up that money for me..." No sooner does she say that does Obnoxious Guy have the bouncer on the floor picking that money back up for him. What an asshole.

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Here's the thing, when retelling this story to others, they typically respond something like, "Hey, it's vegas. Not surprising to have high roller guys like that who can get away with it. if not vegas, where would be a better place for guys like that?" And i think - actually, those obnoxious guys are all around me - at a lot of places outside vegas that i've seen. it just so happens that it's more acceptable in vegas.

I tell both stories because i recognize that there are both the nice guys and the not-so-nice guys out there in the world and if anything, this story accentuates the good from the bad for me. but i have started to realize that there are actually a lot of the not-so-nice variety out there and some men say "that's just the way we are" and many women accept it with "yeah, men are just jerks like that" and both groups end up carrying a lot of baggage as a result and i see it in all the relationship and family problems that my friends have. But why do people accept that? Change yourself or change the people you surround yourself with if you don't like it!

Then i realized how skewed my reality is. I have had the very fortunate experience of being surrounded by a lot of wonderful, thoughtful men in my life. I have never had a bad boyfriend. I have not even ever had a really bad date. My dad has always been supportive of what i do, who i date and who i am. My guy relatives have been a reliable shoulder to lean on. My guy friends are generally respectful and kind. And my boyfriend amazes me everyday with his honesty, support and love.

so then i thought about how often the men in our lives get the credit they deserve for just being the good guys they are. and really, they don't get it often enough. Women are generally the ones who get complimented, pampered and given attention.

So to all the beautiful men in my life - past boyfriends, family, friends and loved one - thanks to you for treating the women in your life well and right and for making each of my days a little brighter than before. Kisses to you all...

stupid people

if most stupid people don't know that they are stupid, how do we know we aren't?

oh my God, it's the organ again...

so at about 5:15 pm every other day, there is organ/choir/whatever-other-religious-musical-entities-there-are rehearsals happening downstairs from where i work. did i mention that i work in an office in a church across the hall from the massive organ? yes, it's true.

usually, i'm too engrossed in my work (no, really) to really pay attention. but today, i came back from a meeting and just settled down into my seat when i started to hear the music. the strange thing is, for the non-religious person that i am (sorry, mom), i found it very soothing.

i started to analyze why this was so and came to the conclusion that there is still an imprint from my eight years in Catholic school left in me. Though i was probably one of three students at my school who wasn't Catholic, i think i did find mass and the songs and the sermons somewhat soothing. not so much because i believed in God, but more because it all felt so inspirational as a kid - there was nothing else in my life at the time that talked about a greater force that pushed people to help change the world for the better. i think, to a certain degree, that has had a lasting impact on me in terms of how i interact with the world today.

and while i'm still not Catholic, or Christian (my preschool), or Buddhist (my parents' religion) - yeah, i got my share of religion when i was a kid - i catch myself once in a while singing those songs from mass or thinking about some buddhist way of life that some monk said at my house and i do find it familiar and strangely soothing. i think that based on my varied religious upbringing, i've taken certain aspects of all of these beliefs and extracted out of them the way i want to live my life without the constructs, constraints or rules tied to any one religion.

it's simple really. live life true to yourself, respect others, be kind and give more to others than others may offer you in return. with that, i believe a person can make a lasting and positive impact on those around them and be happy too.

i would like to believe that there is a greater being out there (maybe?) - afterall, it's pretty amazing that this earth and humankind exists the way we do (and some things are just too beautiful to be left without explanation and created by chance). but when it comes down to it, i like things grounded in fact and i think people need to take ownership of their actions not because an entity believes it's right or is guiding them to that path, but because they themselves believe it's the right thing to do.

this is not to say that i don't have faith in my life. i have faith in what i can accomplish, i have faith in my friends as good people, i have faith in my family being there for me always and i have faith that my boyfriend loves me. so maybe that's it. i don't feel empty without a god. i actually feel very fulfilled.

and i count my blessings everyday.

Hasselhoff. Salmon. Hooked on a Feeling

Too good not to post:

http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2433520&htv=12&htv=12&htv=12

i really am doing work right now - it's called multi-tasking

what was good about being a student was that all your days start melting together. everyday was as good as the next. even though Mondays and Fridays take on a new meaning now that i'm working again (Mondays suck, Fridays gooood), at least the weekends are all my own now - no assignments, studying or exams to worry about. And my goal is to cram as much good stuff into them as i can while i'm here! Here's a rundown of my stress-free past weekend:

SATURDAY
11am-1pm
Ferry Bldg Farmer's Market. After a late Friday night, nothing like fresh air and fresh food to start off a Saturday morning. Right by the water, lots of fresh yummy stuff. Pricier, but worth it. Had me some homemade tamales and fresh oysters. Bought fresh basil, mushrooms, strawberries for Sunday dinner. And the grapefruit gelato tasted like real grapefruit and the snozzleberry tasted like real snozzleberry...(okay, bad insertion of Willy Wonka reference - sorry AbeL).

1:30pm-4pm
Muay Thai Kickboxing Tournament. Holy cow can these peeps jab and kick! (and i'm just talking about the 8-year-olds in the first round and the women in the second). A friend i just met whitewater rafting a couple weeks ago was competing so we had to check it out. Unbeknownst to me, there's this big underground thai kickboxing faction in SF - standing room only in the hot sweaty awesome warehouse/gym location. mats were everywhere, no one wore shoes, tattoos were common. it was great. and james kicked butt. :)

4:30pm-7pm
Linner, Caribbean-style. Too late for lunch, too early for dinner - let's have linner! Yum jerk chicken, corncake and ceviche (okay, so maybe ceviche isn't caribbean, but it was good.) at an outdoor patio place,to top off the afternoon. And of course no meal would have been complete without a lovely conversation about recreational drugs and scrabble.

7:30pm - 9:30pm
Sleepers, Jeepers. Sam debuted her first full-length screenplay, Sleepers, about a girl stuck in the moment, obsessed with playing cards, who is suddenly visited by her long-lost brother who tries to recruit her to be a prophet with him - yes, it really was that cool. Awesome intimate setting (aside from the normal theater seats, audience members could sit on pillows on the floor 10 feet from the actors) and a great time. great job Sam!

10:00pm-12:30am
Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I don't care how people feel about this movie - i liked it and Brad and Angelina are HOT.

12:45am-2am
City Tavern. Remind me never to go to the Marina bars to hang out again. 22-year old drunk frat boys and the girls they like to hit on (which is every girl).

SUNDAY
2pm-5pm
Scrabblemania! My friend, Manja, threw a scrabble tournament complete with a life size scoring sheet stuck to the wall. and yes, there were enough of us geeks to show up and play. Got second place. Damn it - so close!

5:30pm - 11:30pm
I Heart Caprese. My friend AbeL and i decided to do a lil dinner party for some friends. He made italian bread from scratch - with fresh basil (amazing!). then we made caprese salad - heirloom tomatos and fresh mozza and basil - mmm, still thinking about it and some puttanesca pasta (italian for prostitute or cupid, go figure). mix in some wine, scotch and ginger beer and it was a fine dinner. of course, had to finish the night with a game of Taboo (tho i could have used a game of poker). And of course, i was part of the team called Prancing Rainbow Unicorns (aka PRUs).

So now, i'm over the Monday hump (yesterday was pretty A.D.D. - though you are witness to me blogging during work now, shhhhh.) Off to vegas next weekend (maybe i will get in a game of poker afterall) - can't wait! Hope everyone has a great week!

Reaching Down Under For Less than a Maxim Issue

okay, i just realized that that title sounds bad in so many ways...

anyway, i just spent about an hour this morning talking to dodger in australia for under $3!! I love technology. :) We were talking about how it's so economical because with cell phones, Skype and other forms of rising media, things like phone cards just don't sell anymore - all the better for ppl like me who have hour-long commutes to kill and long distance boyfriends who have an affinity for leaving the country - wait, should i take that personally? (did i mention that my very first boyfriend went off to Romania to do the Peace Corps and my boyfriend before dodger left for Japan to teach English?).

at any rate, hearing a person's voice makes so much more of a difference. There's just so much in intonation and expression that adds a level of depth to a communication exchange. that is one flaw with IM convos - likelihood of misinterpretations - but then again, they have added a whole new level of friendships (people i have barely seen or spoken to, but i feel i know really well now) that i never had before.

happy friday everyone - and maybe i will be speaking with you guys more!

i don't wanna grow up, i'm a willy wonka kid

one of the great things about a night like tonight is the feeling of rejuvenation again. i went with a couple of friends to a "walk-in" movie tonight. A random group of people in SF have decided to project movies off the side of a building, provide popcorn and have anyone come and sit on the grass with their blankets after dusk and watch movies. today was willy wonka. it was awesome. and a couple friends then went off to go to catch a show at the laundromat that has live music performances at night. gotta love SF!

tonight was nice not only because i got to step out of the routine adult world for a couple of hours, i was also reminded by the movie, through albiet really random and sometimes cheesy lines, what it's like to have that wonder of life again, as kids do in their everyday.

it's kind of like how i've been gone for a year and coming back allows me to be a tourist again, but this time, i know where all the good restaurants and cool things to do are - i just get to see them again through the eyes of someone afresh of experiences.

lately, i've been feeling like i've become more and more like a (gasp!)...grown up. maybe it's because i find myself not appreciating the kinds of silly things that kids do anymore as much, that i don't laugh as much as i used to, that i just don't feel things (giddy, estatic, pouty) as much as i did before. maybe it's just a lull. but the thing about working in education this summer, is that i'm constantly trying to get into the mind of a kid, to see what they want and need. i ask myself "what is it like to be a kid these days?" or just simply "what is it like to be a kid again?" and i'm finding it's harder and harder to remember that answer. is this what happens when kids say that grown-ups "just don't get it"? am i going to be that uncool adult who says "that was bitchin" and have kids roll their eyes or cover their mouths from laughing? man, that's SO not gonna be me, dude.

i was thinking back today to the times in the last few years that made me really appreciate the experience of the moment. i remember distinctly my last day in italy during my backpacking trip through europe. we were on a budget and were sitting on a bench facing the shore of the adriatic sea eating some cheese on a loaf of bread. we splurged and bought some tomatos to add and then ended the meal with nectarines. it was scorching hot. i was sticky and tired after carrying my 50 lb backpack all day (i weighed less than 100 lbs at the time) and had 12 mosquito bites on my body. but you know what? it was one of the best lunches i've ever had - it was cheap, but it was simple and easy and fresh - things we had learned to appreciate by that point, because really, that was all we really needed. we talked about our adventures with the local Roman men the day before, our new friends who we left playing their guitars in the Paris train station a few days before that and the excitement of stepping foot onto the white sands of a greek island for the first time that day. every day was literally a new adventure. and it was for our choosing. and THAT should be what life is like, as an adult or a child.

the other thing i realized is i think i'm scared of old people. no, really. i think i am. and no, not the old people you see jogging down the block or racing their grandkids down the street or laughing together with their families at dinner. i'm talking about the old people who eat dinner by themselves, the ones who have to worry about crossing the street in time because they just can't walk that fast if their life depended on it, the ones who barely get looked at or talked to by their families when they are around them. the ones who have run out of things they can physically do in a day and just sit.

this recent feeling may have to do with a visit to a convalescent home a couple of weeks ago to visit my uncle, but still. how do i ensure that i, that my parents, don't end up like that? how do i make sure that when i'm old, it's not forgotten that i once had a full life and that i can still carry an interesting conversation?

and how do i overcome this fear of getting old from both angles?

Ah, phone calls with Dad...

Ever since i've had my mail forwarded to my parents house for the summer, i've gotten a lot of random calls from the folks. i'm not living there, but since i'm pretty much a nomad this summer, thought it was easier - little did i know...

Phone call with my dad while stuck in traffic today -
Me: Hello?
Dad: Hey - it's dad. Your credit card bill arrived today and I opened it...
Me: Dad! I told you - i pay all my bills online! You don't need to open my credit card bills!
Dad: Okay - but just so you know the due date is July 8th...
Me: Dad! I paid it already!
Dad: Okay - but i just wanted to make sure you paid it on time, because you get charged fees if you don't.
Me: Dad! I just said I paid it already!
Dad: Okay - so the bill says here...that the total for your bill is $94.80. Okay? And it's due on July 8th.
Me: ...
Dad: So make sure okay?
Me: ...(heavy breathing, fuming)
Dad: Hello?
Me: (sigh) Okay Dad. Thanks for letting me know.
Dad: No problem. Good night.