Thursday, March 29, 2007

me, myself and sf

the older i get the more i start to realize just how much my family has influenced me in so many small and big ways. for example, my mom has 8 siblings and my dad has 6 and i've grown up around mostly all of them. family get togethers used to be a big affair. kids running around. adults talking and laughing in every room. rarely was there ever a quiet moment.

maybe that's why i am restless and uncomfortable with silence in general. and the fact that i scored nearly 90% Extrovert on my myers-briggs test. and that i always thought i could never live alone.

don't get me wrong. i like my down time. i love to reflect. but all i need is a couple of hours (or maybe my computer). after that, put me in a room with other people i like and that's where i thrive, get energized and am happy.

tomorrow is cesar chavez day, and working at the school district that i do, we get the day off. the first thing i thought was, "sweeet! a free day in the city." then, i thought, "who's gonna come out and play with me?" then i realized that, doh, everyone else is actually working. my friend knull said, "it might actually be kinda nice to have the day to yourself."

huh. interesting. that thought has actually not occurred to me in so long. so i think i'll try something different this time and do a date with sf tomorrow. just you and me, dude. let's hit it.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

getting back to normal

i was on my flight home from austin this weekend and it wasn't until the women next to me grabbed her husband's hand as she drifted off to sleep that i felt a surge of missing my boyfriend.

they were an older couple. probably in their 50s and happy and comfortable in the way that my mom's cooking makes me feel - there was a sense of reliability and appreciation in the cheer they brought to each other; just by being there, it seemed to make things right with the world and while not fully present all of the time, were accessible in the moments it really matters.

i missed my boyfriend at that moment because, looking at the everyday-ness of the couple's actions reminded me of the everyday-ness that i haven't had in our relationship in a long time. i just miss being able to lean on his shoulder during a movie. to grab his hand when i'm nervous, kiss him on the cheek when i come into a room, sit next to him on the couch with our feet up even if we both have to work. not to say that we don't have those moments in the times we do get to see each other during the long distance, but there's something to be said about having that accessible to you when you want it, need it, feel it. i'm all about the instant gratification.

oh well. the long haul is almost over, i suppose. i'm just waiting to get back to normal...

on a cold, tired day

hoodies are the hot chocolate of clothes...

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Killing My Lobster

Dinner started off normal enough. “Lobster or steak, ma’am?” the waitress asked. Hmm. I don’t really like red meat, I love seafood and I'm in Boston. The answer seemed obvious enough (all the while I’m trying to process the fact that I’m at the age now where people refer to me as a term they would also call my mom – I rack it up to how mature I sound when I speak. You know, phrases like, “Lobster, please.”)

Table conversation is good, we’ve got our plastic bibs on. We’re ready to roll. My plate comes with the liquid butter stuff, potatoes and corn on the cob. Check. Then I look down at the plate and have a Pretty Woman moment. Um. The lobster is whole. Like in only one big piece. I come to the realization that I’ve never actually eaten a lobster whole before. Hmm. I have visions of my saying to my coworkers, “Yeah, I only like to smell it. I don’t actually eat it.”

I take a quick inventory at the table. K, there’s that cracking thing they use with crab. K, they’re using their hands. Then Joyce starts doing some crazy twisty thing and all of a sudden the guts come spilling out and the whole thrust of lobster meat is pulled out of the carcass. Hmm. That looks like the advanced class.

“So…I don’t really know how to eat this.” A silent pause of confusion. “You’ve never eaten lobster before?”

“No. I mean, yes. But I’m Chinese.”

(Asian clarification #24: If you’ve never eaten lobster at an Asian restaurant before, they always chop up the little crustacean for you. I never really knew what it looked like whole let alone how to tackle the little sucker.)

So after a lil walk through tutorial, I killed the thing. To the last bite. And it was kind of fun and gratifying. And I’ll do it again, ya hear me? There’s something to be said for working for your food, versus having it just handed to you, even if the end result is the same. Kinda like love or fortune. Now - where is that moist towelette?

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Friday, March 16, 2007

Creative Groupie

I’ve joked to friends that I am what one might call a creative groupie. While I myself am not a creative person (aside from the occasional homemade valentine’s day card, photo or blog entry, which is far from any sort of real talent), I find that I love to surround myself with people who are all things creative - design, writing, music, art, building things, you name it. I’ve been trying to figure out what about it exactly that draws me to these things, beyond the fact that the creative people I’ve met have tended to be passionate, fun, clever and overall interesting to be around.

And through a slew of random things I’ve come across recently - namely the book 31 Songs by Nick Hornby, and the movie Stranger Than Fiction - I’ve come to the articulation that it’s because occasionally, a story, photo, song describes something within me, perfectly. It’s not the image or words themselves per se, it’s a more complex, less direct connection - there are slivers in that paragraph, that photo or that song that evokes perfectly how I feel, want to feel or touches me in a way that makes me think a little differently forever. It is this amazing sense of common connection, where someone else can describe a moment in time or a feeling you connect to more perfectly than you yourself ever could. And it is this trigger of perfect articulation in each of these things that draws me in initially, lingers in me afterwards, and leaves me wanting more. You know, kinda like those mini snickers bars.

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what a snow storm gave me

it's been a whirlwind of airports and subways and taxis lately. i'm strangely mentally at ease, though physically worn. but lots of good things have happened in the last few weeks.

1. had a fun lil girls' v-day party at our place this year. made lasagna, a coffee table of cute men and cried our hearts out while watching the notebook. i love being a woman.

2. mentioned it before, but felt a big accomplishment making a traditional chinese new year meal with my cousins this year. keepin it real and celebrating family. that's what it's about.

3. flew to cape town for about 10 days to visit my bf. can we say AWESOME? it'd been two months since we'd seen each other - i'm really proud that we're pulling through this with fairly minimal scratches along the way. my visit included seeing Nelson Mandela's prison cell, a euro/techno club, penguins, baboons, rhinos, the beach, a class lecture on the notion of race during post-apartheid and wineries. btw, did i mention that he lives in a beach house in sunny, 80 degree weather in a beautiful, developed town with water, land and sun all around him? yeah. one word: jealous.

4. a few days after i got back, flew to LA for a surprise retirement party for my dad that my sis and i threw for him. i think he was sincerely happy and surprised. there was much crab, mango cake, balloons and old friends and family to be had. he said "i'm proud of you guys" as though us throwing a party for him was any comparison to the sacrifices he made for us during his career for the last 35 years. that's parental love, dude.

5. after a day at home, i flew to boston for our bi-monthly leadership series where the residents from my program across the country come together. i love these sessions because they rejuvenate me in every way - personally, professionally. our last day, we usually focus on more "fuzzy" topics since people are worn out from the long days before. this time, it was on the myers briggs personalities - less about ourselves and more about what type our coworkers might be or our partners in life and how we can think about how to work better with them as a result of the analysis. i'm an enfj. what are you?

6. now, i'm stuck in boston a little longer than planned due to a snow storm, but ya know, i'm starting not to mind so much. it gives me some good down time - away from home and all the things i need to do there so i can just read, listen to music, write a blog entry, look at friends' photos. you know, forget about that $250 moving violation ticket. the work emails since i've been gone. now where is that cup of hot chocolate i just made?

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

You Left Your Name, Part 2

Sorry for the delay! Just got back from Cape Town and LA and now in Boston. Here's the rest!


Misocrazy:
  1. 1. You turned me on to DDR and for that I will be forever grateful
    2. It's a Sunshine Day by the Brady Bunch/13 Going on 30
    3. Mango Peach with chunks of pineapple.
  2. 4. I still can't believe I didn't tell you about you-know-who in our UCLA group of fun.
  3. 5. Sitting on the couch at Overland Estate, eating noodles that one of the boys had made. cute glasses, short hair and of course, with Squeakers.
    6. dolphin - playful, carefree, intelligent and gets along with humans.
    7. But seriously, are you gonna give me first dibs on your great giveaways when you move?

Kevin:


1. I like your shoe collection and when you wear hats.
2. Anything song by JT or the Dragonball Z movie.
3. Blue Raspberry.
4. Long time no talk.
5. Sitting in Gary's living room at his bday party, wearing agraphic tee with spikyish hair and a bandana on your wrist. you felt compelled to explain the hyphy phenomenon to me.
6. a monkey.
7. what kind of accent is that exactly anyway?




Mamapork:

1. Your flickr pics remind me of the stock photography of a model family.
2. Sex in the City. But you're Carrie with the baby, not Miranda. but with Charlotte's maternal instincts. And i know it's not a movie, but hey, what ya gonna do?
3. Strawberry banana.
4. Did you know that Mr. Entertainment guy asked me for my number?
5. We met up for lunch with June at Yahoo! You had long hair and a cute outfit involving boots.
6. Koala.
7. How the heck do you look so hot as a mom?


Arshad:


1. I love the fact that you have a wombat in your house and stoop season on your stoop.
2. Fuzzy by The Incredible Moses Leroy.
3. Apple. Fuji, if they made it in that variety.
4. I'll be a meat eater with you.
5. At your house, to play weboggle. You made me a drink and was wearing sandals in the house.
6. Lion.
7. What did your hair look like when you were at that school, Cornell. Ever heard of it?