between strangers and friends

I recently joined a really great board of directors for a non profit in san francisco and one of the ways they are having us get to know each other is to answer a set of questions with an assigned fellow "buddy" board member.

as far as icebreakers go, i find that they are usually kinda velveeta and all warm and fuzzy, but as i was reading these, i thought, these are actually some pretty good questions.

i thought it would be kinda cool to answer these with my friends even. we don't talk about these topics usually and I think they get at learning about a person at a better level. anyway, i thought i'd share the Qs. I will answer them at a later posting, but would be curious about your answers - whether you want to share them publicly here with me or via email or just the next time i see you. enjoy!

On what basis do you select your friends? Why?

What do you like to do most with a free hour? Why?

What is your perfect meal? Where would it take place and who would you share it with?

What value that comes from your heritage is most important to you, and why?

What job or profession would you secretly love to pursue?

What is the best book you read in the last year, and why did you like it?

the more i ignore you, the closer you get

i was just thinking about you today. wondering when you'd show up. hoping you'd forgotten about me. and as timing would have it, there you were today, at my door. so predictable.

i guess i knew deep down that there was no escaping you. you'd come looking for me if you didn't hear from me. it's just one of those things though. i'm sorry. life got busy. i had better things to do, people to see. i forgot about you. okay, that's a lie. i thought about you, i just didn't want to deal with you anymore. maybe i was in denial. you know - if i just ignored you, you'd just go away.

but of course, that didn't happen. you found me anyways. you have cost me more than you know, all these past months. so, fine, you win. if i just pay you, will you just go away? i'll be better next time.

i. hate. parking tickets. especially the ones with the late fines in the mail.

How to tell if you are american

it's funny to watch my dad's evolution of using this new thing called the Internet. my dad started off using the web to check his stocks, knowing his one bookmark, barely understanding the concept of a browser. then he moved onto canceling his newspaper subscription, "Why should I pay for the paper when I can get the news for free everyday online?!" Can you imagine him saying it in that oh-so-Chinese way? I love it.

Then, he started using email. But only for the other 3 people he knew that sent him emails plus his updates from Charles Schwab and CNN. So, I thought I'd add to his list too. I started sending him my flight confirmations, e-greeting cards, articles I thought he'd be interested in. He would always faithfully reply with something along the lines of, "I just wanted to let you know I got your email. Loves, dad." as though there was always this uncertainty of the circuitry behind email technology and that he was never sure what i sent him went through. (now also imagine vice versa - "Hey, did you get my email?" "And how bout this next time, did you get my email?"

Recently, he retired, so his world of the Internet has expanded as has his email usage. He's connected with his old college friends, even high school friends from Burma from decades ago for the first time. Of course, as a result, I hear more from him. Which I actually don't mind. In fact, I really like it. It's almost as though I can communicate with him in the way I do my friends and colleagues now. So when I got this forward called, "84 ways you can tell you are chinese" I thought of him since there were so many things he could relate to (stove grills covered with foil, anyone?) and forwarded it on, which I never would have done before.

That same day, he forwarded me an email called "Who is American?" - probably because he thought there were some things I could relate to. I thought this was just a funny exchange of generations and cultures within our relationship, even as a family, since there is this acceptance between us that he will always be almost "too" chinese and i will always be "too" american - like my amusement with his foil-covered stove and his amusement with my sister's and my "fast-talking english" with terms like "nerd" or "funky" that he still grasps to understand.

there's also this sense of a gap that i don't think either of us can explain. that he has lost his kids to this foreign, american culture in a lot of ways because there are just certain things we don't understand or appreciate the way he does. that i lost a part of me that i remember because some of the values instilled in me as a child have been replaced with more long-standing american values that have become a part of me because of my friends, my job and my everyday life without my parents. i also miss out, in some ways, on the kind of relationship i could have had with my parents (talking about boys, dating, pop culture), but never could because these were just unchartered territories.

of course there are a lot of wonderful things about being a part of two cultures too. i wouldn't trade our existing relationship for the world. for some reason though, i associate my dad's growing internet sophistication with being american. i know that's not exactly accurate, because there are plenty of asian people who use technology who are not from the states, but somehow, it allows him and i to suddenly connect on a level that we never used to talk about before. technology, articles, new browser interfaces, and maybe, one day, even blogging...

date with sf

my day with sf started out beautifully - it was 73 degrees and sunny (in sf, that's considered summer heat). as a little context, i have been traveling non-stop for the last month or so, so this day off was much, much anticipated.

started the day with a little gym action and went to a kickboxing class. kicked and punched to the instructors orders, "nose! chest! groin!" who knew it would be this naughty. little did i know that it would be the theme for the day.

then went grocery shopping, came back for a nap and of course chatted online and checked email for a bit (that was inevitable).

after a nice shower to appease all those around me, i set off on my task of finding the perfect set of lingerie for this weekend's bachelorette party/lingerie shower for a girlfriend of mine. we decided to do a naughty and nice theme gift.

who knew, btw, that it would be this hard to find naughty lingerie in a mall. after a couple of hours, i finally hit victoria's secret. and even then!

the most uncomfortable part of the experience was the sketchy big security guard dude that kept walking back and forth eyeing all the customers as I poked around skimpy girly stuff thinking, i hope he doesn't go home imagining us all in this stuff.

and then, jackpot! i found a sexy black see-thru number that was perfect. let's just say it involved buttons at the crotch and there were enough appropriate holes that the bride-to-be wasn't quite sure which body parts could go where. uh huh. your husband can just thank us later.

i never really understood the idea of a lingerie shower though. it's really gifts that keep on giving - for the husband. i mean, i know plenty of women who like that kind of stuff too, but i'm guessing a girl might appreciate a massage, clothes, shoes, chocolate, a hot young dancer thang...oops. i digress.

after that lil journey (i know, my life is tough), i came back for a quick nap before our girls' dinner. it was a perfect day to just do my own thing on my date with sf. sf was pleasant, accommodating and took me to territory i have never been before (woo!).

so, um...maybe we can do it again sometime?

shoes in the street

k, so it might be late and i might have just come back from the bars and i might be a little buzzzzzed but a thought just occurred to me as i saw all those drunk people walking in the street. how come people wear their shoes in the house but take them off in the street?

btw, pants are overrated.