Thursday, June 30, 2011

For giving and for getting

Tonight, I cancelled dinner plans to stay back at home with the little bubba so that my hubs can go out to dinner with some friends, sans baby. It's been a long day with the bubba, but my hubs has had a long week too and I often forget what it feels like from his perspective.

Since the baby, I've often been caught up with my situation, how much of my time I give to the baby, how much I need my husband to help, etc. But I also am lucky enough to get to spend all day with the little kiddo and see him grow in every small way. From my husband's perspective, he gets to see the little guy a couple of hours each night (and always with me, so he doesn't have a lot of alone time with him), always feels guilty for not doing enough (and feeling like I think he doesn't do enough), that whatever free time he has on the weekdays, he should be spending it with me or his son. Which leaves him with very little time for himself, or to see his friends on his own.

He's encouraged me to make dinner plans sans baby at least once a week and said that he would watch the kiddo for me since he knows I need a break. Yesterday, I went to dinner with a friend and the hubs watched him. In the 3 hours that I was gone, he washed the dishes I left in the sink, emptied the dishwasher, gave the little one a bath, fed him, put him to sleep, scraped together some dinner and proceeded to take all our blinds down from 13 windows in the house (in preparation for the blinds guy coming today) until he almost injured his shoulder. While I know he still doesn't quite understand how hard it is to take care of a kiddo all day long, I do know that he tries. To the best that he can, given the minor reality that he will never be able to breastfeed or bear children (nor does he want to).

One of my friends said that once she had her child, there was no one else in the world she loved more - not her parents, not her husband. It was an unconditional, overwhelming love that she had never experienced before and it was incomparable to anything she had felt previous. While I also feel an overwhelming love for my son - something that I never knew could feel this amazing - it's weeks like this that remind me how much I love my husband too and the import of appreciating him and of remembering to give because I know he's trying too and, afterall, this is teamwork.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

The Bubba vs. the Momma

The Bubba: farted in the bath and little poo particles floated out, peed all over momma's shirt while breastfeading, woke up from nap exactly in the second momma sat down for dinner, no nap time longer than 30 min all day

Momma: went for a run, showered, had both lunch and dinner while hot, exhausted and has to do it all over again tomorrow!

Then the Bubba was all smiles for a whole 20+ minutes and then it was no contest...